Sunday, May 13, 2018

Happy Mother's Day Mama...

I will never say that you're a perfect Mom. Napaka ipokrito ko naman kung sasabihin ko na perpekto ka. Napaka-plastic naman yan. We have a lot of differences. We have a lot of misunderstanding. Papa even called you Hitler. THERE ARE EVEN TIMES THAT I JUST WANT TO STRANGLE YOU. Life with you was like living in Sparta. 

I remember that you slapped me in the face dahil I planned na ligawan yung kaklase ko - sasama sana ako sa swimming ng mga classmate ko sa Palaisdaan Picnic Garden sa Malabon kasi kasama nila Hernando Aspiras yung crush ko na si Julieta Sevillo. Yet a slap in the face and reminding me that duty and responsibility to family must always comes first bago yang mga barkada at panliligaw na yan . Yun tuloy, di ko tuloy naligawan si Julieta Sevillo when I was in high school and I never got the chance na manligaw or to be married ever since. 

Yes... mas inuuna mo yung mga kapatid mo - si Tita Baby, Si Tita Eva, Tita Lilia, Tito Boy, Tito Eddie --- being their eldest siguro even thought they never treated you fair because we're poor and they're rich. Sisterly love, Bah! I hate you when you do that.

But sometimes, ikaw at ako lang ang nakaka-intindihan, nagtutulungan. We always talk and you taught me how to make fool-proof plans pag walang pera. Dami mong tinuro sa akin to the point that I became so matured (and matured looking) at the age of 17 kaya ako ang napagkakamalan na eldest na brother between me and Kuya Buddy (Kuya hate me because of that). Well, they say that I am more of my Mom than my Dad, maybe that's why I become so cynical.

It wasn't your perfection that made you the best Mom. It's what you are - yung brutality mo made me a survivor. It's your tyranny that made me capable of facing all these obstacles in life. It's your courage that made me stand amid the isolation.

Mama, I know your gone. Buti nga, nakapagpahinga ka na. And you know what? Papa and Kuya are also gone too. Ako na lang ang "last man standing." You once said that you get your strength from Kuya and Me. Now, since all of you are gone - saan ko kukunin ang lakas para mabuhay pa? I'm still alive - obviously, I am getting some strength to live on. Maybe... there's a lot of you inside me. That is where I'm getting my strength.

Thanks Ma. Thanks to your strickness, that slap on my face that I am now surviving against the odds.

I missed you. I love you.

Happy Mother's Day

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